Why Is Death So Hard

Why is death so hard? Well, I don’t think that answer has ever been solved and ever will be. Last Thursday my dad passed away from a rare and cruel disease of PSP. This disease basically destroys your body over time making it where you can’t do certain daily tasks. We all know when grieving that there are different stages and lately I’ve felt so lifeless where I don’t want to do anything. The common experiences we tend to go through are denial, bargaining, anger and of course depression which are seen as defense mechanisms that reflect our inability to come to terms with and accept the loss. Acceptance of a loved one’s death is possible, however it will also forever change you as a person. Your ability to process the death and subsequent stages of grief will get you to acceptance. So why is it hard? I believe it’s hard because of the two realities, the unknown and the process itself. What happens after a loved one passes no one knows. But everyone goes. Most likely we simply cease to exist and for most people that’s not much of a problem. If there is an afterlife, living honorably and well now should take care of that. The process, though, is another story. We nursed my father in the years leading up to the moments of his passing. We’d feed him, give him smoothies, and when things progressed home hospice care eventually came in to help us with the harder things. For my dad’s last hurrah we took him to the Arboretum where we spent the entire day walking around taking in all the beautiful views then finished off the night at Pappadeaux as my father loved his seafood! But the next couple of days is when things became serious. Dad was basically lifeless, he could hear us go in and out to tell stories and even just small talk. But the hardest part was seeing him propped up in bed, slowly breathing with no reaction to anything just silence. So I guess this comes back around to the question. Death is hard because not only is it your loved one, it’s something you’re scared to experience as well.