This Is My Story..

I blew out the candles on my birthday cake. All 21 of them. I was officially 21 years old. I had no real plans. This was the summer my ex boyfriend was in town. As a little back story, my ex was loud, hilarious, and I was crazy about him. We dated all throughout school. He was a troubled kid due to the fact he never had a good relationship with his parents and always got in trouble with school and the law but above all that, what drove me crazy was the fact we could see around our own problems we had. Fast forwarding to the months before my birthday, we tried long distance but at 21 years old, what does that even mean? We lost touch within a few months and I chalked it up to a monthly thing of us occasionally talking. But then he was back... The month of August. It felt like fate. I cared about my ex. I would even say that I loved him. But he wasn’t my end all, be all. I was 21 and having a baby or even being married was not in my yearly plan. Heck, I don’t think it will be for a very long time. I’m not even ready to be committed to any guy and I especially know that there’s no way on God's green earth I am about to give my life to become a mother or wife. After the weekend of my birthday I made the poor choice of running off with him and disappearing from the world. I don’t really remember what all happened but to end up here, telling my story, you can already tell things went wrong. About the end of August he ended up leaving again, traveling back to Florida to take care of himself and his addictions. It was super tough watching him leave but I knew he needed it in the end. About mid September I was developing flu like symptoms but brushed it off as nothing, smells was the first thing to bother me and I’m not exactly sure what kind of smell to be exact. Just any smell. By the month of October I was down flat in bed, this time I was throwing up now and smells were bothering me even more so than before! Of course with COVID being the new normal we again blew it off to be a bad virus. By the end of October we started to worry, I hadn’t been getting any better. I still had the same problems no matter how much medicine I had taken. Nothing would change. That’s when we reached out to our closest family members a nurse, my grandma and a doctor, my cousin and what did they say? “Get a pregnancy test.” We we’re going to blow it off but figured it was the safest option to start with. Any person that’s taken a pregnancy test in their life will tell you it is the scariest few moments in your life because of the anticipation of your result and it’s true! And what was mine? Positive... Being 21 my mom wasn’t able to join me in the appointments, But she was as supportive as I needed her to be and I am so grateful for that. I know how many women are completely alone during this needlessly stigmatized process. I of one happened to be for my first time. Abortion wasn’t a question for me. I knew in my gut that I was not going to move forward with the pregnancy. I didn’t cry. I didn’t and don’t have any regrets. I didn’t have to think twice about it at all because I knew I was making the right decision. The day of the procedure, my mom dropped me off. The waiting area held women younger and older. I remember a couple of girls younger than me with what seemed to be their mothers. I feel for girls who are still teenagers making that decision mostly because I knew the stigma they would face. But at 21, I felt fully in charge of myself. I remained calm and collected. The staff was probably appreciative of my demeanor and they had me in and out fairly quickly. I don’t think about that day much though I try not to. I do think about my ex occasionally. I know he’s getting the help he needs and hopefully will be back within time. The legislation that is currently being pursued by the GOP and Trump Administration to regulate and control women’s bodies is not only a method power but a violation of women’s fundamental human rights. The narrative these groups create to instill fear and compliance into their base is nothing short of malicious propaganda. The photos, which depict photoshopped images of abortions later in pregnancy, are based on lies and only contribute to creating fear, shame, and misinformation. It’s not fair to the 1 in 4 women in America who will have an abortion in her lifetime to be made into political props. Not to mention that stigma does real harm and this rhetoric puts real women’s lives in danger. I remember arriving at my appointment that morning. There were people picketing outside. The staff was comforting, though that was unnecessary. I was strong. I was 21 years old. And I know what’s best for me, my body, my life. I wish that everyone making such a personal decision could feel the same, but I know that that is often not the case. If you are one to find this and you happen to be considering an abortion or just plain scared. Just remember that you got this and if 1 in 4 women can do it? You can too.